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A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...The Butterfly Effect!
Jan 23 2004 by Allen Voivod
A downer freak-out head-trip movie starring Ashton Kutcher and some other people that don't factor into your moviegoing decisions.
Dad: Couldn’t see a damn thing. Your mother polished off a bag of pitas with that 40-spice hummus again - my eyes watered like a busted hydrant. Sounded scary, though.
Mom: Listen, Mr. Toxic Avenger, don't even talk to me about colon problems. The fog of war is nothing compared to the nuclear winter you've been detonating recently.
Sis: Will you two PLEASE shut up about your anal leakage issues? Roach Kirkson might read this, and he’s totally not into chicks with noxious parents. Even if I can knot a cherry stem with my tongue.
Bro: I tried to light one once, but I set my sphincter on fire instead. Didn't even know I had hair down there, either! Felt tingly, in a naughty kinda way...
Baby: This movie proves Ashton Kutcher is more Tom Hanks than Peter Scolari, so good for him! But for Lieberman's sake, why does he have to debut his acting chops in a movie plotted with such gratuitously disgusting circumstances? Grim for horror fun? Fine. Grim for message movies? Fine. Grim for grim's sake? There just aren’t enough binkies in the world for that kind of depravity.
Verdict: Think twice before going out of your way to see it. It's not everyone's bottle of milk.
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