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Britney-Jacko to One-Up Justin-Janet Stunt by "Accidentally" Fornicating on Live TV
Feb 3 2004 by Lucky Lani
In a clear display of media-mongering "Tat" for "Tit," Britney Spears has persuaded Michael Jackson to help her reclaim the title of Most Audacious Caucasian Pop Star after Justin Timberlake snatched the title from her by ripping off Janet Jackson's breastal coverage on live TV during the Super Bowl Halftime Show.
The peek-a-boobie was seen by an estimated 140 million US viewers and has unleashed the full wrath of the FCC. Also, it immediately trumped the Spears-Madonna kiss on the MTV Music Awards (and the original "Tat" to the Justin-Janet "Tit") as the most unexpected visual perk for devoted couch potatoes.
As soon as she saw Miss Jackson's adorned nipplage, Spears called an emergency brainstorming session to strategize her counterattack. Many impressive suggestions - including a red carpet "trip 'n fall" by Spears at the Academy Awards involving Russell Crowe, Julia Roberts, and a gigantic, well-placed tub of lime JELL-O - finally led to a unanimous decision to enlist Michael Jackson in their top-secret plan to shock the nation.
"We felt Michael Jackson might have some pent-up sibling rivalry that would inspire him to participate in our 'unplanned' antics," explained Spears' spokeswoman Janice Ellenstine. Ellenstine went on to say that their "unscheduled" coup definitely would NOT happen on Court TV, the day Jacko's molestation verdict is read.
"Imagine - and there's nothing premeditated here, but seriously - what if Britney Spears was disguised as the court stenographer and she suddenly jumped up, ripped off her clothes, and forced herself onto Michael Jackson in a fit of uncensored passion?" Ellenstine innocently speculated to a group of reporters she called for a press conference. "Sure, the chances of that happening are pretty slim, but you never know with these things…"
Ellenstine trailed off to attend to a fit of excitable winking, presumably to flush a foreign object out of her eye.
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