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A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Hellboy!
Apr 2 2004 by Allen Voivod
The DFOF decided to pay tribute to their favorite TV show, American Idol, while reviewing this comic-book adaptation movie!
 Dad as Judge Randy Jackson: Man, it was just aiight for me. But anything's better than workin' for Mariah Carey. That girl's a freak, dawg, you don't even know!
 Mom as Judge Paula Abdul: As long as Randy keeps working the remote on these vibrating panties, you could put William Shatner in front of me and I'd find something nice to say about his singing.
 Sis as the Average Viewer/Voter: They think all we want are safe little puppet boys, but we're totally sick of them. Girls want the dangerous puppet boys now. But not ones with snap-off horns on their heads. Ewww!
 Bro as Host Ryan Seacrest: I could buy and sell every last one of you little dreamers, and this styling gel wouldn't flake one bit. Me-me-me-me! Me-me-me-me!
 Baby as Judge Simon Cowell: If I'm being honest, I'm just not buying it. Mutated superheroes? No problem. Genetically altered spiders? Diggin' it. Nazi cross-bred half-demons? WTF?! And I thought Tinky Winky was a nutjob!
 Verdict: Should please the fan-boys, but likely won't do much for most of the rest of the you.
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