A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Godsend!

It's a horror, cloning, Pandora's box, psychodrama, something, something, something-or-other. A real Frankenstein of a movie, with Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and Robert DeNiro.

Dad: If God was just a stranger on the bus, He would've hijacked the bus and let it slip below 50 miles an hour after seeing this movie.

Mom: I think our editor is God. He's creatively all powerful, we never see him and yet we feel his influence everywhere. And he can't give two craps about our well-being. Sorry kids, it's free movie popcorn for dinner again.

Sis: Roach Kirkson made me feel closer to God once...woof!

Bro: God's getting back at us for blaspheming Him. He's a vengeful, angry God that likes suffering. God's a sick bastard! He freaks me out!

Baby: Paging blockbuster season, paging blockbuster season! Will it ever come? I wish someone would just tell me it's today, because I don't get this whole "time" thing. Will we ever again see movies where spectacle overwhelms any need for a coherent story? Because without the spectacle, you need the story, and even decent acting won't get you by. Like with this movie, for example.

Verdict: Not even worth seeing on Lifetime after a stiff couple of drinks.


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