A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...The Day After Tomorrow!

We can hear the gears grinding in director Roland Emmerich's brain. His only big payday came from blowing up the White House in Independence Day. "Hmmm...blow up one landmark, big money I'm to get. Blow up...many landmarks? Yes! Blow up MANY landmarks, maxi-big payday to get!" (Yes, his interior monologue really does butcher the English language. It's really sad to expose him that way, but someone had to do it.)

Dad: It's a disaster of a disaster movie! Get it? Get it? Oh God, we're all gonna die!

Mom: Ah, I long for the simple days, when you could watch a giant lizard stomp the hell out of the Little Tokyo section of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. "Wourd you be, courd you be, prease won't you be my AAAAUUUGH! Lun fol youl rives!"

Sis: Jake What's-his-name...mmmm, I'll take a side of that with my Armageddon!

Bro: Dude…we're so [expletive deleted].

Baby: I watched this with a double ear infection, and I don't think I missed anything. I doubt any of the budget went to the script - you could fill a forest with all the wood-like dialogue from Emmerich's flicks. He does do good visuals, though, and that's the only reason to see this movie on the big screen.

Verdict: It's not even 90 minutes long, for Mel's sake! At current ticket prices, just catch a matinee of this Fox News infomercial.


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