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A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Garfield!Jun 10 2004 by Allen Voivod
It's the motion picture event you begged God to prevent from happening! Fox is about twenty years late with this Garfield film, bringing the lasagna-eating feline to "life" with the voice of Bill Murray. No offense, Bill, but you're no Lorenzo Music. Dad: [Refused to see the movie, citing Article 4 of the Geneva Convention.] Mom: [Refused to see the movie, citing a schedule conflict with a full-body waxing appointment.] Sis: [Refused to see the movie, citing the one date she had with a creepy kid named Jon Arbuckle back in freshman year.] Bro: My folks dropped me off here with a twenty-dollar bill and it was sooo cool, I ordered malt balls and peanut butter bites and gummy roaches and nachos, nachos, nachos! I ran around and threw popcorn at the screen and got more candy and ate it all and crawled in all the sticky stuff under the seats and took my shirt off and smeared chocolate all over my chest! I even drank a whole giant soda and peed in the corner and blamed it on the hobo sleeping in the front row, and the cops came and dragged him out and then I had the theater to myself, and I got a bunch of napkins and mustard packets, and I used the mustard to stick the napkins on every seat and threw the empty packets up at the projectionist's window, 'cause the movie sucked, but I had the best time ever! Baby: [Refused to see the movie, citing the other horribly crappy CGI animal movie he had to endure earlier this year.] Verdict: If you see it, we'll completely lose all respect for you, and you won't be able to get it back.Related Articles A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban! Jun 1 2004
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