A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Around the World in 80 Days!

Jackie Chan teams up with the guy who directed The Waterboy to film the umpteenth remake of the Jules Verne novel. Oh, and they stacked it with a whole bunch of cameos. Sounds like "The Wonderful World of Disney's Sunday Night Movie - The Movie."

Dad: How in God's f'ing name did Garfield make $22 million last weekend?! Twenty-two million dollars on a cat that should have been dead years ago!

Mom: Will you shut up about Garfield already? I'm going to bust your ass with a cap or something if you can't stop talking about it for five damn minutes! Go hunt down Jim Davis and kill him for Jodie Foster if it's making you that crazy!

Sis: I'm supposed to be on Summer Break, cruising down to Florida with Becky Butler to find an MTV party boat! I'm not supposed to be spending more time in this crappy movie theater watching more crappy movies I don't want to - what are you - AAAAAHHH! AAAAHHH! Get 'em off me! Get - AAAAHHH!

Bro: [After Sis ran out of the theater] It took me two weeks to get enough caterpillars to fill the mega popcorn bucket, but it was totally worth it. Godspeed, caterpillars! You have not died in vain!

Baby: Jackie Chan is always amazing, but this doesn't have his signature zing. Don't get me wrong, I had fun watching it - everyone in the movie's trying so hard to make me happy, and I like that. It makes me feel like I'm God. But when they're trying too hard, it shows, and it makes me kind of sad, too.

Verdict: It's a better kids movie than Garfield - if you went to see that, then you'd better see this one twice. As for the rest of you, keep your money in your pockets until this weekend.


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