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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Condoleezza Rice |
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| You are sitting on: Home > Entertainment | February 11th |
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Paris and Nicole Do Crawford - Texas, That IsJun 19 2004 by NM Puff
Told that the "best little whorehouse in Texas" was in Crawford, Simple Life 2 stars Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie hotfooted it there as part of their small town road trip sequel."They told us to go to the chickenhawk ranch in Crawford because that's where all the bush was," said Paris. In a soon-to-be-aired episode, the two intrepid travelers found the local gas station owner in Crawford, who went along with the gag by directing them to the Bush Ranch. Once there, the duo asked the Secret Service guards if this was the chickenhawk ranch, because they were told it was the "best little whorehouse in Texas." The Secret Service must have been in a good mood because they called the President, who agreed to see Paris and Nicole. Upon meeting the President, Nicole asked if this was the chickenhawk ranch, to which the President replied, "Some people think so." The President then tried to explain that he was President of the United States to a disbelieving Paris. Paris shot back that if he was really the President, "What are you doing in the middle of nowhere?" The President replied that he goes to the ranch to relax and plan for terrorists. "Remember 9/11?" asked the President. "I do," said Paris, "my boyfriend used to own a Porsche." Paris then astutely observed to the President that "no terrorist would attack here 'cause there isn't anything here to attack! And anyway," added Paris, "how do I know you are the real President and not just a caretaker for the chickenhawk ranch?" The President, apparently determined to make his case, said his name was George W. Bush. At that point Nicole looked puzzled. "We were told we would see bush at the best little whorehouse in Texas." The President explained that The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas was a movie with Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton. "Wow!" said Nicole. "I've always wanted to meet Dolly Parton, is she here?" "No," said the President. "Wow, that is disappointing," said Paris. "That would have made this whole trip, like, worth something."
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