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Advice for Mary-Kate Olsen from Beyond the Grave
Singers Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliott, whose careers and lives were cut short by problems with food, were saddened to learn that teen actress-entrepreneur Mary-Kate Olsen entered rehab for anorexia.
"Wow, that's a bummer, maybe even a double cheeseb, er, bummer," said Mama Cass, who gained fame as a portly singer with the Mamas and the Papas in the 1960s. "The girl needs to eat, just not as much as I did."
Carpenter, whose battles with anorexia overwhelmed her 1970s singing career, agreed. "Remember the old joke about how, if Mama Cass had given me just half that ham sandwich, we'd both be alive today?" Carpenter said. "It's true, it's true."
"Not exactly," said Mama Cass, who contended that it was a heart problem prompted by obesity, not a ham sandwich, which caused her death in 1974.
"Whatever," said Carpenter, who, since her 1983 death, has ballooned to 300-plus pounds in the afterlife by not exercising and eating nothing but candy and ice cream all day.
Mama Cass and Carpenter suggested that Mary-Kate might purchase their new video - Celestial Diets: Don't Join Us Before You Have To.
"Maybe it'll save the kid's life, or the lives of others who can't afford expensive rehab programs," said Mama Cass, who now weighs less than Carpenter.
Carpenter agreed, saying, "Mary-Kate, I don't want to be 'Close to You.' Not for a number of years anyway. Don't forget, buffets are a good thing."
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