A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Spider-Man 2!

The hands-down box office champ for 2004 comes out...with a lot of exposition before the fighting. But there's action aplenty in this film, so fret not about it. Featuring Tobey Maguire in the role he was resigned to play, Kirsten Dunst as the sum of her body parts, and Alfred Molina, who has no problem taking care of himself. So to speak.

Dad: [Shifting in seat] Ahhh...nipples.

Mom: [Shifting in seat] Who is this James Franco person? Oh, my. He's certainly very...did they turn the air conditioning off in here? I'm feeling a little flush.

Sis: Oh, gross! I hope you didn't sprain yourselves. I practically heard a "boing" noise from the both of you. And, omigod, will you stop sitting next to each other like that?! Your PDA's gonna get you arrested again.

Bro: It's a wicked awesome movie, but they still haven't explained why the webs don't come out of his butt! If they're gonna make it a genetic thing, the webs have to come out of his butt, right? Right??

Baby: Director Sam Raimi is amazing, spectacular, and all those other adjectives normally applied to Spider-Man in the comics. He makes the most of Tobey Maguire's three total facial expressions, and gets the CGI better than the last swing around. Dad got me a stuffed Spider-Man that's as big as I am, and I'm very happy Ol' Webhead will be in my crib, watching over me tonight.

Verdict: Big screen all the way.


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