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A Dysfunctional Family of Five Presents...The Midyear Review!
Since no movie studio had the testicular fortitude to open nationwide against Spider-Man 2 this week, we figured it would be a perfect time to look at the year in movies so far. We asked the Dysfunctional Family of Five to pick their favorite films of the first six months of 2004.
 Dad: Spider-Man 2, because the vast corporate media conspiracy has successfully eliminated every last trace of my long term memory.
 Mom: Oh really? So your encyclopedic knowledge of hot actresses must make you an idiot savant. I'll choose Shrek 2, because it's funny for kids and adults. And Antonio Banderas - meow! Only Nicole Kidman in stiletto thigh-highs could rival his Puss-in-Boots!
 Sis: I picked Mean Girls, because it changed my life, and because the boom mike kept poking down like a big furry donger into every shot. Now that was funny!
 Bro: Harry Potter, because Buckbeak laid the smackdown on Malfoy! But whoever played the recorder on the soundtrack is a total 'tard!
 Baby: Hands down, the winner for the first half of the year is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It reinvents the love story and makes us really question the reality of our experiences. With an astounding emotional range and great performances by Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, and the rest of the supporting cast, this is an absolute must-see movie. Mark your calendars - the DVD release date is Sept. 28th, 2004.
 Verdict: For all of its artistic merits, we still think The Passion of the Christ is a glorified snuff film. We were more uplifted by the source material.
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