A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...I, Robot!

It’s just not summer unless there’s a Will Smith movie. This one features him as a 2035 cop trying to figure out why Jar Jar/Gollum killed his master. And then the Fresh Prince kicks robot gaskets.

Dad: If I were a robot, I’d have thousands of indecipherable buttons, and I’d surprise myself every day with new and exciting displays of robot prowess.

Mom: If I were a robot, I’d be free from the tyranny of personal grooming. Imagine all the time I’d save, not having to log the natural forests of my verdant woodlands.

Sis: If I were a robot, I’d blow out my chestal cavity with gelatinous, fiber optic plasma, kinda like Lara Croft – but bigger. Then I’d show up at Tad Dayton’s party and SLAY.

Bro: If I were a robot, I’d hunt down and kill all cockroaches everywhere. Then I would be the Supreme Being on Earth! And then I’d turn it all over to the gophers and go get a Fresca.

Baby: It’s not as good as Men in Black, but it’s better than Wild Wild West. Of course, it’s not hard to be better than Wild Wild West. Even staring at the same frickin’ bobblehead Dora the Explorer doll every day for months on end is better. And it’s all about gettin’ jiggy with Will Smith, right? Right.

Verdict: Will Smith plus summertime minus giant mechanical spider equals good mindless fun, but it’s not the best movie of the Willenium.


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