Daily Coverage of Jon Stewart and The Daily Show's Democratic Convention Coverage: Wednesday, July 28th, 2004

Mugging Factor*: 7

Hair and Attire Percentage**: 91

Laugh Quotient***: 0AFB2

Content Integer****: 1258328675309

Delivery Metrics*****: See pie chart at right.

Minion Matrix******: See bar chart below.



Summary:

One can only begin to imagine the cerebral spasms shooting through The Daily Show's offices this week. Twenty-two minutes to summarize - with humor, poignancy, grace, and rabid sarcasm - a political blabfest that drags on in front of ennui-laden TV audiences for hours on end. To mock profoundly, or to go off the track and riff in an entirely irrelevant direction? To rock the vote, or vote for a rock instead of the candidates presented?

On this evening, Daily Show folk went straight for unabashed irrelevance. Good for them.

Oh, but it was a good night for "bon motting!" Chock-a-block full of fun-filled phrases and verbal hijinks - not the least of which was the introduction of a tough-lucked gentleman named Doodle Von Taintstain - Jon Stewart was twirling the tongue like a cherry-stem-tying prom queen gunning for the affections of the captain of the football team’s older, cuter brother.

And Stewart's hair - always a subject for meditation - was gleaming with follicle-friendly radiance. Perhaps one day these fingers will be running through that patch of succulent brain sproutage instead of tapping on hard, lusterless keyboards, day in and day out, writing about other people’s comedic analyses...


*A rating on a scale of 1-10 of Stewart's use of facial expressions to punctuate jokes.
**A rating that determines whether Stewart is "Hot or Not" each day. Not endorsed by the Jon Stewart Estrogen Brigade.
***The average number of laughs per minute of show, counted hexadecimally and multiplied by the remainder.
****The time at which this was written (Eastern), still with absolutely no relevance to content analysis whatsoever.
*****Tracks the relative breakdown of timing, inflection, and general mellifluousness.
******Tracking the mojo of each correspondent appearing during the DNC Democratic Convention coverage.

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