A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...M. Night Shyamalan's The Village!

It's the new movie from that guy whose name we can't pronounce, even though they keep frickin' saying it on the commercials like they're trying to turn it into a brand. Coming soon, M. Night Shyamalan's Moon Pies! And M. Night Shyamalan's Fuel Injector Cleaner! And - okay, enough search engine optimization.

Dad: I see a geek filmmaker who's turned into the Indian George Lucas of the supernatural sci-fi set.

Mom: I see a dark circle approaching, eclipsing the action onscreen. The movie, now a corona around the enveloping minty opaqueness. York Peppermint Patties, you are heavenly.

Sis: I see the same lameness I saw two years ago.

Bro: I see London, I see France, in my sister's purse I see her underpants!

Baby: Criminy, it's like playing a game of poker with a crooked dealer. You spend so much time watching his hands, you never get a look at the cards he's dealing you. That's Shyamalan's blessing and his curse. It's not a bad movie, but if I had to make a choice, I'd see The Manchurian Candidate on the big-screen instead of The Village this week.

Verdict: Rental.


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