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A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Collateral!
Miami Vice creator Michael Mann takes a break from trying to be an important filmmaker (Ali, The Insider) with an LA film noir thriller. Jamie Foxx stars as a cab driver who gets a one-on-one session with an unusual motivational expert. And okay, Tom Cruise, what's with the frickin' hairdo? We're calling you on it, man!
 Dad: Oooo, he dyes his hair gray and now he's all serious, oooo, I'm so impressed. Check out the serious ac-tor...
 Mom: This is the first time his smile didn't distract me from the plot. It was his whole flippin' head! Tom! Buddy! I can't believe you let that Spanish harlot Penélope talk you into that gray hair! Is that why you finally dumped her?
 Sis: I dunno, Mom...I'm startin' to get the whole "older man" thing. Aw yeah, Tommy boy, that's right. Just a few more years and I'll be legal. Wait for me!
 Bro: Tom's a bad dude, but that coyote in the movie was even badder. He's like, "I could totally tear your throat out if I wanted to, sucka, but man-flesh makes me vomit, so I'm gonna go kill me some varmints!"
 Baby: Cruise was more menacing in Magnolia and more deadly in the Mission: Impossible movies. But if anyone knows how to create a beautiful, taut thriller, it's Michael Mann. Just don't ask too many questions about the script, and you'll enjoy it just fine. Easy for me to say, of course - I like Teletubbies, and that show makes absolutely no sense at all.
 Verdict: A purty movie for Hollywood's favorite purty boy. Lots of action, too. Worth seeing on the big screen.
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