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Diane Sawyer Tells Viewers: "My Life Is Better Than Yours"
"Good Morning America" host Diane Sawyer will be the subject of a new ABC reality show beginning this fall. Producers say the program the program, tentatively called My Life is Better Than Yours, will allow viewers to finally appreciate just how extraordinary Sawyer's life really is.
"People see her every day talking to the movers and shakers. They know that she makes history," explained executive producer Broncho Tripiolio, "but Diane does so much more than just determine the outcome of world events. She lives a fast-paced, glamorous life."
Sawyer herself is the first to agree with these claims. "I've done a lot," she said during a DeadBrain interview. "Some, including myself, say I'm responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall, the demise of New Kids on The Block, and Sam Donaldson, but there's much more to my life that viewers haven't been able to experience."
Sawyer explained that while her mornings are spent "talking to dreary people and trying desperately to appear interested," an act that has forced her to develop her trademark squint, the rest of her time is spent in more exotic ways.
"If I'm not on a red carpet grabbing Colin Farrell's ass or romping naked with Florida Governor Jeb Bush, I'm out making history."
Sawyer's history-making moments apparently include being a founding member of the Spice Girls who left because she "couldn't tolerate Baby Spice's antics," and being the real source of inspiration behind James Cameron's Titanic. "People think the movie is about a ship, but it's really just a metaphor for me."
Although Sawyer said she feels most comfortable in chic evening wear surrounded by "my type of people," she hints that a recent adventure found her "looking fantastic in fatigues" along the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan. While she refused to reveal any details, she will say that he her trip resulted in a "major find, but you'll have to wait until the end of October to learn more."
In the meantime, Sawyer promises fans that her success won't change her and that "I'll always be willing to wave from an appropriate distance."
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