 |
|
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Stephen Colbert |
|
 |
|
| You are just out of reach of: Home > Entertainment | February 9th |
| |
|
 The Ex-Files: When Our Favorite Couples Call It QuitsOct 6 2004 by The Cosmic Detective
I recently met with my favorite spiritual medium for a cosmic download (and some celebrity gossip). With rumors circulating about a certain Justified performer and his Angel, I had to know - is their love on the rocks? And if so, can the relationship survive or will they split up?My medium couldn’t dial into the Justin-Cam connection, but she did see trouble brewing for another Tinseltown twosome. Seems the honeymoon’s over for those MTV Newlyweds. And while it doesn’t come as a complete surprise, it does ruffle my feathers. Deep down, I thought these two could weather any storm. But then again, I’ve been wrong before. As my medium guided me into a meditative state, I reflected on other Hollywood couples I thought would stand the test of time, only to be stunned by their breakup... Meg and Dennis. She was the all-American sweetheart. He was the handsome, bad-boy-turned-good. Between her wholesomeness and his devilish charm, I thought they had it all. And they did until the day When Meg Met Russell. Tom and Nicole. Tinseltown doesn’t grow them any finer than this dynamic duo. I loved how my favorite Aussie actress towered over her leading man on the red carpet. And how he always whispered sweet nothings in her ear. All was well until Cruise went out of control and whispered I want a divorce. Britney and Justin. The entertainment industry would be a different place had these kids stayed together. There might not have been a wardrobe malfunction. The FCC wouldn’t be freaking out. And these wholesome hotties might not have let their public images get so darned raunchy! Angelina and Billy Bob. I never said all Hollywood hookups were good. Nonetheless, these two seemed destined to violate one another for eternity. Thank god she wised up! Whether Justin and Cameron stay or split, or the Newlyweds stick to their vows of forever, one never knows. But I do know this - Baby Spice, if you’re reading this - my medium has a cosmic connection to cure what ails you. Repeat after me: There is life after The Spice Girls. Related Articles The Ex-Files: Ten Days That (Almost) Changed the World Sep 22 2004
The Ex-Files: Ditching the Material Girl for Stripperella
Sep 7 2004
The Ex-Files: The Ex-Laker and His Leading Lady Vanish
Aug 18 2004
The Ex-Files: The Demise of Dunst and Gyllenhaal
Aug 5 2004
The Ex-Files: A Breakup Letter from Britney
Jul 21 2004
The Ex-Files: The Cosmic Detective Turns Off, Tunes Out, and Drops Down
Jul 7 2004
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2003-2008 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Survey | Vermin |