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| You are humming to the tune of: Home > Entertainment | January 7th |
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 An Al-Qaeda Holiday May Soon Be Available at a Cave Near YouOct 16 2004 by NM Puff
"Of course, they won't actually be al-Qaeda, but they'll spend time in a cave dressed in the appropriate garb surrounded by our Arabic speaking hosts," emphasized Branson. "We plan scenario tours including: plotting against someone or something; being chased, requiring movement from cave to cave; and sitting in indoctrination classes listening to repetitive harangues. Each participant will be provided with an AK-47 and a rocket launcher. Taping of garbled coded messages is also included in each package. Added Branson, "We feel classes in learning manufacture of weapons of mass destruction would be useless, since anyone with a computer can do that." In what appears to be an odd amalgam of computer gaming, reality TV and current events, al-Qaeda officials have become peeved with the idea. "We own the rights to 'al-Qaeda' and find the unauthorized use of the name, even for amusement, a clear violation of the al-Qaeda franchise," said an unidentified representative. Branson's response was typically business-like. "We feel that once they see the pilot program and understand that we will negotiate terms and fees, they will be amenable. We have offered Osama the first ride in our space flight program as a 'signing bonus'. Mr. bin Laden is foremost a business man and I think understands the potential here." Fox Corporation head Rupert Murdock has also offered to film the "vacationers" to be part of a new Fox reality series called Code Red. Al-Qaeda countered that "outside" filming could damage the franchise. "We can eliminate the middleman and sell directly to the networks, reducing distribution costs and enhancing margins," said a representative. Noting the success of paintball and other army-type maneuver games, he added, "This may be better than the opium gig in Afghanistan." "Tie-in rights and gaming residuals are now on the table. I think we are getting close," said Branson. Related Articles Local Donkey Wounded During US Marine Raid of Iraqi School Oct 9 2004
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Sep 29 2004
NASCAR Proposes Baghdad 500
Sep 27 2004
CBS Retracts Abu Ghraib Torture Story, Apologizes to Bush
Sep 21 2004
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