A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...National Treasure!

A treasure hidden by the Founding Fathers? A map on the back of the Declaration of Independence? This concept is so high, even Snoop Dogg would be thrown for a loop by the shizzle they were smoking when they dreamed this up.

Dad: Yeah, right, and King John wrote a laundry list on the back of the Magna Carta. "Henceforth nothing shall be - ooch! - given or taken for a writ of inquest in - ouch! Damnit, no more starch in the tights, it chafes the royal loin hair!"

Mom: I think they were waxing in the 1200s, honey. They'd get all schnockered on wine, pass out and wake up totally hairless. Imagine if little Vietnamese ladies at the mall did that…

Sis: Now there's a mother-daughter bonding ritual I could get behind! Then maybe we could stop going to those freaky "Alchemists' Quilting Society" meetings every "shedding cycle" week. Yuck!

Bro: BIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Baby: I've got nothing against popcorn movies - even though I can't eat popcorn yet. But when it's got the name "Bruckheimer" attached to it, you should guard your wallet the way I guard my blankie - with every screaming cell of your body and soul.

Verdict: Rental.


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