A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Ocean's Twelve!

Oh, Soderbergh's doing a sequel to Ocean's Eleven, eh? We had no idea until today. Of course, we had to go off the grid in the Idaho panhandle to avoid the publicity onslaught, but that's life in the big city, right? Right.

Dad: I'm either in awe of their jet-setting lifestyle or deeply resentful. Can't we get on a press junket or something with all the reviews we've done? Please?

Mom: Brad Pitt isn't eating very much in this sequel. I'm getting worried about him. Maybe he needs some lovin' from my oven.

Sis: [After making a retching sound] The thought of you with Brad Pitt is soooo disgusting. I mean, he's like…omigod, wait a minute. Brad Pitt's old enough to be my dad. [Another retching sound] Oh, skeevy!

Bro: You can't blow up a car in the first ten minutes and then give me nothing - NOTHING! - for the rest of the movie! What kind of patience do you think I have, Hollywood?

Baby: The scene where Brad Pitt and Catherine Zeta-Jones first meet (chronologically speaking)? Absolutely, one-hundred percent priceless. If only there had been more moments like that. It's all right overall, but it just doesn't ring-a-ding-ding like the first time. If only I had no long-term memory, like some other babies I know...

Verdict: A matinee if you must, but you might as well wait for the rental.


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