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Tsunami Tragedy Unites Aguilera, Simpson, Spears
Two decades after African famine inspired pop royalty to join forces for Band Aid and Live Aid, the devastating earthquake and tsunami that rocked Southeast Asia are bringing together three of pop music's biggest stars. Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera have announced that they are joining forces to bring "cosmetic healing" to the victims of one of the planet's biggest natural disasters.
The trio have announced the formation of "Cosmetics Over Troubled Waters" to raise funds to bring makeup - and makeovers - that the women of Southeast Asia.
Simpson, who recently thrilled holiday audiences with her sultry and disturbingly erotic version of "I Saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus," said she was moved after inadvertently seeing coverage of the catastrophe on CNN.
"The remote can be hard sometimes," Simpson admitted. "I was looking for the Style Channel but ended up seeing all these dead people and these other people were like weeping and wailing." Simpson said husband Nick Lachey explained the situation to her.
"Nick set up my Barbie Dream Condo by the pool and then made the biggest splashes you've ever seen!" Simpson reports that "Ken had washed away and his head got stuck in the pool filter. Barbie just looked like hell and that's when I knew - these women needed makeup and a makeover!"
It wasn't long before Simpson had contacted her old adversaries Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.
"I did a Sri Lankan guy once and it was hot," confessed Aguilera. "I couldn't bear thinking of all the guys who didn't die or whatever having to look at all these ugly unmade faces, you know?"
Fellow skank Britney Spears was also moved for personal reasons, having seen generations of her family lost to trailer park tornadoes. "I was just like, yeah, let's make these women look good."
While Spears, Simpson, and Aguilera have lent their names and faces to "Cosmetics Over Troubled Waters," the organization released a statement saying that are currently no plans for any of the three to "do anything the requires time or effort," including recording for the cause or visiting Southeast Asia.
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