A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Guess Who!

Return of the Mac! Bernie Mac plays a Dad who's not too keen on his daughter's new boyfriend. We bet Demi Moore's dad felt the same way about Ashton Kutcher. "That guy?! No, seriously, that can't be him, come on, you can't kid a kidder! Now where's your real boyfriend?...Oh...oh, God, no."

Sis: Ashton Kutcher wore his girlfriend's underwear a little too easily in this movie. I wonder if he's secretly a transvestigi-whatever. If the National Enquirer is so good at catching stars cheating on each other, how come they don't catch more transvestitites?

Mom: Honey, that's "transvestites," and believe me, you don't want to catch one in the act. Why do you think I have locks on my closet doors? It sure isn't to keep you away from my holiday sweater collection. I know you don't appreciate the holy "B" trinity - brocade, buttons and bric-a-brac - the same way I do.

Bro: Dad likes to wear your clothes, Mom?! Phew! I thought it was just me! Well, me and Paco Tostada, of course. And he happens to love your sweater collection.

Dad: Kids, your mother's referring to some idiot she dated in college. Don't worry. I won't scar you psychologically unless I can make some money off of it.

Baby: Well, I wanted a better fit for Bernie Mac (see my Mr. 3000 review), and I got it! But I'm still not satisfied. How babyish of me! I'll still watch whatever Mac does, though, even though it's with Ashton Kutcher, who creeps me out a little, 'cause he's got one of those weird Jay Jay the Jet Plane faces.

Verdict: Rental quality, but okay for big-screen-cabin-fever-relief if need be. Bring some friends along for the ride.


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