A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Beauty Shop!

A spin-off movie! Wow! We haven't seen one of those since Elektra! Oh...yeah, that was in January. Elektra, huh? Well, that's an expectation lower-er for you.

Sis: What happened to Queen Latifah? I thought she was all sassy, but in this movie she might as well be my Mom. Except for…well, you know, the…[whispers] successful businesswoman with a dead husband thing.

Mom: I heard that! I'm proud to have a living husband, even if he comes to me in the dark like a stranger 'cause he's working all hours to keep you clothed, despite your best attempts to show more skin than a Fox News pundit-fest.

Bro: And you got lots of free stuff from that Body Shop house party you hosted, too, Mom! Oh, I hope you don't mind that I used the "body butter" on my iguana. His skin was really, really dry after I put his cage on the hot plate.

Dad: Just once I'd like to see a movie without a dead parent, or a parent who's not a burden to their kids. They might as well advocate putting parents out on the ice floes at age 59 ½ and giving the IRA account to the kids. Then the Hollywood-Eskimo-PBS Axis of Cultural Evil would finally be triumphant. Bastards!

Baby: The title of a movie is supposed to be the key to its inner heart, and that's the case here. Don't go looking for any serious three-act structure, or the much rarer eight-act dramatic arc. Even Thomas and Friends is more intricately plotted. Beauty Shop is a slice of life comedy, and a nice change of movie-going pace.

Verdict: Rental quality, but smiley enough for a weekend matinee.


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