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| You are hovering over: Home > Entertainment | November 19th |
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Intern No More, Paris Hilton Says "That's Hot" to Network NewsApr 26 2005 by R.C. Johnson
Look out world! Paris Hilton is ready to add some substance to her resume. Hilton and NBC have reached a deal in which Hilton will serve as a lead reporter for the network. Hilton will split her time evenly between NBC Nightly News, MSNBC, and CNBC. Most analysts believe Hilton, fresh off a successful run in the Fox series The Simple Life, will bring a much-needed boost to the network's ratings. NBC's numbers have continued to fall since the departure of Tom Brokaw last year. At the news conference announcing the deal, Hilton appeared eager for the challenge. "I'm really, really, really ready for people to start taking me seriously," proclaimed Hilton, wearing a plaid knee-length skirt and a ringer T-shirt reading NBC ROCKS! "There are so many important things going on out there. That's where I want to be." NBC executives intend to give Hilton "her share" of lead stories and investigative reports. Hilton will also contribute human interest stories for the Today Show. The executives hinted that her first investigative report could involve a trip to Africa for a story on the plight of the African Bush Elephant. When asked about a trip to the African Bush, Hilton did not hesitate by saying, "That's no big deal. I've been in the African Bush. I told you guys before that I'm not a racist. "I'm ready to tell it like it is," continued Hilton. "Most people think that the news is boring. But I think it's hot. Very hot." At the end of the conference, Hilton expressed some regret that a deal had not been reached sooner. "Too bad that Pope guy died before NBC called me," confessed Hilton. "Three weeks in Italy would have been awesome. Except for when they were carrying that dead Pope around. That was way creepy. Who needed to see that?" Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up at our parent site. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!
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