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  You have been flattened by: Home > EntertainmentSeptember 7th 
  Homes and Gardens

DHHG Chief Calls for "Purple Power"

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The following is a special message from Secretary Kenneth H. Kenneth, head of the DHHG:

Fellow citizens:

It has been six months since I assumed my post at the DHHG. Unfortunately, we continue to live in troubling times. With the recent events in London and around the world, we are reminded yet again that people exist on our planet who are dedicated to dividing us and spreading hate. But sadly, these divisions do not come only from without. We ourselves willingly split into opposite groups. Red versus blue. Left versus right. Home Depot versus Lowe's. We are a country torn apart by our own self-proclaimed differences.

I was reminded of this the other day as I was eating a Wonka Cake. This tasty treat appears in all respects to be a traditional chocolate cupcake, except it is covered with purple icing. At first I was frightened by the artificial color of the icing. But one bite of the Wonka Cake's tasty goodness transported me to a state of bliss, where, for just a moment, I was able to forget my worries. Imagine my delight when the next bite revealed a further surprise hidden deep within the Wonka Cake – a luscious filling of lavender cream.

As I savored my treat I thought about our great nation, which, like the Wonka Cake, holds so much hidden promise. Why do we let artificial labels such as "red" and "blue" frighten us, as the violet-colored frosting on the Wonka Cake had frightened me mere moments before? And then, suddenly, I had another thought. What if our nation's red and blue could truly come together? What would happen? I'll tell you. We would become one united nation of proud purple. And if we could do that, we could accomplish anything.

Can we dare to dream it? Can we dare to imagine a future where, like the icing on the Wonka Cake, we proudly stand in all our purple glory and say to the world "Eat me! And see what I have inside!"

How delicious would that be? I believe it would be quite purplicious, indeed.

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