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Robert Novak’s Head Explodes
Conservative columnist Robert Novak, who is described as a "journalist" by Robert Novak, was slightly injured Thursday when his cranium exploded on the set of CNN's Inside Politics. Democratic strategist James Carville, who had been sitting near Novak at the time of the event, was admitted to Atlanta's Piedmont hospital and released.
"It's amazing." said Carville, "Bob's skull is so soft that it didn't really hurt me at all. It was pretty disgusting, but everything that comes out of Bob's head is pretty disgusting."
No official information is available on Novak's condition, as he left CNN studios immediately following the incident and did not seek treatment.
CNN correspondent Ed Henry, who witnessed the event, seemed astonished. "Bob has no brain. It's littered all over the studio, yet he was able to get up and walk away. I spoke to him this morning and it's like nothing has changed."
CNN spokesperson Edie Emery announced that Novak will be given some time off to recuperate. "We really can't put brainless people on the air. This isn't Fox News." When it was pointed out that Novak's brain doesn't appear to control his motor functions or speech, Emery replied, "Well, that's a detail that we've been aware of for some time. But now it's so obvious that we felt that we had to pull Bob off the air."
In a related story, the Georgia Department of Public Health has sealed off the Inside Politics studios. Health Department spokesperson Fred Butler defended the decision. "It appears that the tissues found in the CNN broadcast studio contain an unidentified life form. It resembles a maggot, but we've been unable to positively identify it. Until we do, the studios will remain quarantined."
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