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| You are crouching next to: Home > Entertainment | March 22nd |
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 "Mama's Boy" George Bush Gets the Business From Barb on Their Oprah AppearanceAug 11 2005 by Jim Bauman
"Welcome to the show, everyone!" began Oprah. "Today, we have..." Barbara Bush interrupted: "My son, George, has been a bad, bad boy! Right, George?" "Aw, Maw!" said the President. "I've told George to never lie. But he's not listened to my advice, so he has a statement to read, " said Mrs. Bush. "Aw, Maw, do I have to?" asked the President. "Yes, you have to, dear." Pulling a small slip of paper from his suit coat pocket, the President recited: "My fallow Americans, I was wrong about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction. Iran was the country that had them all along. I'm sorry for the mistake." "There, now don't you feel better, dear?" "Aw, Maw!" "Oprah, he's always been a handful. When we lived in Kennebunkport, Maine, young George loved gorging on my homemade Boston-baked beans. After eating his fill, a few hours later, he'd pretend that he was a motor boat – 'put-put-putting' around the house. I nicknamed him 'little fart'." Unexpectedly, George became loquacious.... "Yeah, Oprey, remember several years ago when Maw and Hillary Clinton had that big chocolate-chip cookie bake-off contest? Maw lost, but I told her not to feel bad, because she always baked the best beans. Right, Maw?" "Keep in mind, George, you're only to speak when spoken to. What have I told you about the Commandment to 'Honor your Mother and Father'? Now you've broken it! You'll have to take your medicine, young man." "Aw, Maw, not here! Not on TV." Whipping out of her chair, Mrs. Bush hustled over to her grimacing son. With one arm she locked his head, and then with the other hand, she rubbed her knuckles hard into his scalp while saying, "Oh, my ittle, wittle knucklehead." "Ouch, Maw!" Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up at our parent site. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website! Related Articles Pundit Robert Novak Joins "Dick" Cheney at Cussers Anonymous Aug 5 2005
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