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| You are misplaced along with: Home > Entertainment | November 19th |
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Lance Armstrong Weighing His Career OptionsAug 26 2005 by Greg Kuhl
"I'm starting to get a little antsy about what I want to do with the rest of my life," the seven-time Tour de France winner said. "There's only so much beer you can drink, golf you can play and LiveStrong bracelets you can sell." Here's a look at Armstrong's career options: Bike messenger: "I know there's nothing to replace the thrill of ripping through the French mountains or riding in the streets of Paris, triumphant at last," Armstrong said. "But I think the streets of New York City - clogged and dirty with all sorts of noise and angry drivers - will present a new set of challenges. I know bike messengers don't make a ton of money, and don't get a sliver of the fame I did as a biking god. But if I can make it in New York, well, you know the rest." Newspaper carrier: "My hometown Austin paper has been exceedingly good to me over the years, and now's my chance to give something back to them and the community. "Plus, it'll enable me to spend more time with my kids. Like the bike messengers, newspaper carriers don't make squat and have to get up at the crack of yesterday so the morning paper hits the driveways on time. "But I know I can be the fastest carrier of all time. Those 12 and 13-year-olds don't have a chance, nor do the adults in their vans. Hey, I'm Lance Armstrong, and I'm really fast on a bike." Roadie for Sheryl Crow: "I'd love the chance to travel with my sweetie, just as she did for me during the Tour. Did you see her on TV? Besides, I'm always happy to be with my love - even if it is in Pocatello, Idaho, in the dead of winter." Armstrong said he hopes to start his new job by the first of the year. Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up at our parent site. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!
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