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A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...The Man!
There were, in fact, lots of men involved in this movie, and even a few women! Notable among the people? Samuel L. Jackson and Eugene Levy, the most unlikely screen pairing since Harrison Ford and Anne Heche. It's either sheer genius or sheer screamingly idiotic wankage that could only be explained by blackmail threats...
 Sis: [After watching in sneering silence for the first two minutes, opened her cell phone and spent the rest of the movie engrossed in aggressive text messaging.]
 Mom: Don't ever let me get in a thumb war with either of you kids. Between the cell phone and the video games, I think you would just tear my thumbs off and hold the bloody stumps up in the air yelling, "Jenga!" or something.
 Bro: Is there a Jenga videogame? Cause that would be sweet! Ever since the log-splitting incident, wood makes me nervous.
 Dad: "Wood makes you nervous"? After you went all Colonel Kurtz on us with the ants and spiders at your grandmother's house this summer, it's wood that makes you nervous? It was just a couple of splinters! And I thought you'd like seeing termites get smashed in a log splitter. *Sigh.* I guess I need to go back to the father-son bonding drawing board.
 Baby: I peed in the bathtub, and it was funnier than when Levy does it in the pool. Of course, my pee actually arced up over Mom and soaked my Uncle Phinneas standing behind her. I think more highly of that pee stream than this movie, it seems.
 Verdict: It could've gone straight to basic cable instead. Don't bother with it.
Need a second opinion? Check out the trailer and a different take on the movie by the eminent and learned Brian Briggs at BBspot.com!
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