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The Curmudgeon Bastard: Go Fighting Middle-aged CEOs!
Last Saturday night, I was hanging out in an upscale bar in Manhattan with some friends, trying to get my drink on. Unfortunately, we kept being interrupted by a couple of loud, middle-aged losers sitting next to us who were cheering on their college football team.
These balding, paunchy, fifty-year-old men were dressed in their school colors and kept referring to the players on the TV, boys who were probably younger than their own children, as if they were actually on the line of scrimmage with them: "Bobby's just gotta get us that yard for the first down," one of them told the bartender, who was feigning interest to get a tip. "We're in deep trouble if he doesn't." Yeah, like Bobby gives a rat's ass what some guy who's old enough to be his parole officer thinks.
Perhaps I can understand such blind devotion in twenty-somethings. They've only been out of college a few years and the experience must still loom large for them. But what gives with this cult-like devotion by grown men to a place they spent a small fraction of their lives 25 years ago?
I'm sure they and their frat brothers had fun gang-raping drunken freshman girls and binge drinking until they woke up in a pool of their own sick, but that was a long time ago. There are plenty of new things for them to obsess about now, like how they're going to screw their employees out of their pensions, or where their next fix of Viagra is coming from.
Shouldn't they leave the rabid team support to the face-painters in the stands at the game - you know, the guys who've shaved their team name into the hair on their asses so they can turn and drop their pants when the TV camera focuses on them?
Perhaps these middle-aged fans were just trying to recapture a little of their glory days. I don't know what's sadder - realizing that you peaked when you were twenty years old, or advertising that fact to the world.
Hankerin' for more crotchety goodness? The Curmudgeon Bastard has a blog you could check out, once you scram on outta here…
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