A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Syriana!

George Clooney gains 30 pounds and a beard to become a serious actor! He joins what might as well be a cast of thousands for this movie that does for oil what Traffic did for drugs.

Sis: Total downer, and half the time I didn't know who was who or what was going on. Kinda like detox, except less itchy.

Mom: Honey, you don't know itchy until you've had a UTI while you're in a body cast. There were a lot of good things about my third year of college, but boy oh boy, that wiped 'em all out.

Bro: That was the year you met Dad, right? How'd it wipe that out?

Dad: It might have something to do with the stream of profanities that kept me away from her until her fourth year in college. Even the Alaskan fishermen visiting my sister in the shared hospital room were blushing.

Baby: You know how I was lambasting Hollywood earlier this year? Seems they finally got the message. Between this and Lord of War, we're finally getting some movies with teeth. Speaking of which, I finally have enough teeth to eat something that isn't pureed! It's a great day!

Verdict: Matinee-worthy for those looking to be impressed, not cheered up.


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