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The Curmudgeon Bastard: Designer Cocktails for a Thousand?!
The latest trend at high-end restaurants and nightclubs are "super premium" exotic cocktails that can cost anywhere from $35 to hundreds of dollars for a single drink.
According to a recent New York Times article, a 23-year-old nightclub promoter on a first date in Chicago dropped $950 on something called a Reserve Ruby Red cocktail, which contains vodka, champagne, flavored liqueur, a couple of different kinds of fruit juice and comes with a one-carat ruby attached to the stirrer.
What could make a man blow nearly a thousand bucks on one drink for a woman he just met? I know the obvious answer, but if he has that much money to burn, wouldn't it be easier to knock back a few tequila shots at some dive bar and spend the extra $900 on a couple of hookers that are guaranteed to come across with the goods?
Or better yet, he could have spent the money on one of those penile enhancement surgeries that I'm always getting e-mails for, sandwiched between the teenage girl porn offers and Nigerian banking scams. Because let's face it, anyone trying that hard to impress a woman with his expense account must have some insecurity issues with the size of his swizzle stick.
And the super premium cocktail phenomenon isn't limited to guys trying to get laid. The Times article also quotes a middle-aged female sales rep who treated out-of-towners to $95 cocktails at a midtown Manhattan restaurant. "It's kind of impressive to customers," she's quoted as saying.
Hey lady, here's a news flash: Anybody can find ridiculously overpriced drinks in Manhattan. You want to really impress the regional manager from East Podunk? Try finding him a decent pint of beer for less than six dollars.
I suppose cocktails that cost enough to feed a family of four for two months are part of that "American way of life" that President Bush talks so much about defending. So remember, if you don't take out a second mortgage to finance a night of vanity drinking, then the terrorists win.
Hankerin' for more crotchety goodness? The Curmudgeon Bastard has a blog you could check out, once you scram on outta here…
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