| |
The Curmudgeon Bastard: Mutant Children Poised to Take Over the World
I've heard of people seeing red, being green with envy, and feeling blue. Now some wacko parents would have us believe their offspring have evolved into a new type of superior human being called "indigos."
The term indigo was first used in the 1970s by a "parapsychologist" who described children with an indigo aura, a vibrational color she claimed she had never seen before. I knew a lot of people who also saw strange colors in the seventies. But the only indigo mentioned was the color of the microdot mescaline they ate that caused them to hallucinate in the first place.
Frighteningly, this theory isn't limited to drug-impaired space cases. According to a book that has sold over a quarter of a million copies called The Indigo Children: The New Kids Have Arrived, indigos are specially gifted children who share traits like high intelligence, acute intuition, self-confidence, resistance to authority and disruptive tendencies. The writers claim that often these children are often misdiagnosed as having attention-deficit disorder (ADD) and instead of being medicated they need to be recognized as a new phenomenon in human development.
These traits are so general that they could describe most kids. Children exhibiting resistance to authority and disruptive tendencies - didn't we used to just call that "the terrible twos"? Kids who are super smart and brimming with sensitivity? That's how every parent I've ever met describes his child. When's the last time you heard your co-worker say, "Billy isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer at his pre-school but what really chaps my ass is that he's such a cold-hearted little bastard?"
If your seven year old tries to bully the other kids, regularly talks back to you, and causes constant disruptions in the classroom, it doesn't mean she's a higher form of life who was sent here to save the world. It just means she's an annoying brat in need of competent parenting.
Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!
|
|
