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The Curmudgeon Bastard: Boys Just Wanna Have Fun
Doug Anglin, a senior at a suburban high school in Massachusetts, recently filed a federal civil rights complaint claiming that his school discriminates against boys in favor of girls. Actually his father, a lawyer, filed the suit. Doug is just the public face of this desperate cry for attention.
At Milton High School the honor roll has nearly twice as many girls as boys, and according to Doug, this is because the teachers place fewer restrictions on girls' behavior while boys' more defiant ways are punished. "From the elementary level they establish a philosophy that if you sit down, follow orders, and listen to what they say, you'll do well and get good grades," he said. "Men naturally rebel against this."
I have to agree that rewarding good behavior is an odd way to run a school. It's hard to understand why actually reading the assignments given by the teacher, and waiting your turn to speak during a class discussion should be given more consideration in grading than making farting noises with your armpit and snapping girls' bra straps.
To help reverse this discrimination against boys, Doug says the school should give credit for playing sports. Here's a news flash: they already do - it's called gym class. But to help Doug out, perhaps they could give him Advanced Placement credit for the burden of having to grow up a privileged, white male in a society controlled by…um privileged, white males.
To be fair, Doug's not the only Milton High senior who feels boys are discriminated against. One male classmate complains that in his two honors classes and one A.P. class he is "surrounded by a sea of girls." Look, there's nothing wrong with being gay, but let's not make a federal case out of it, okay?
Maybe it's time for Doug and his friends to face the fact that after 30 years of more equal opportunity in education, girls have finally caught up to boys and are beginning to surpass them because they spend more time cracking the books than shoving one another into lockers.
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