|News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Christina Aguilera|
|You smell better than: Home > Entertainment||March 12th|
Felix the Cat Nabbed in Kitty Porn Sting
Mar 15 2006 by Potfry
Police executed a search warrant after Felix (referred to in court papers by his given name, Felix Dominici) chatted online with a federal investigator posing as a kitten.
"We thought we might get some big fish," said Detective Hal Farmer. "But we had no idea Felix was involved. God, I used to watch him as a kid. It gives me the willies. Now, all I want are a few minutes alone with the Dirty Old Cat. I'll show him my own Bag of Tricks."
The arrest was part of "Operation Catnip," launched in 2003 in response to the growing popularity of kitten porn on the Internet. Extensive undercover work finally led authorities to an animal shelter in New Jersey.
A late-night raid on the shelter provided the first big break. Police discovered a gang of Burmese cats running a lurid photo shoot with kittens from the shelter while a Persian cat was hard at work on the computer, emailing photos out.
"I've seen some sick things in my life, but this took the cake," said Shane McSweeney, a New Jersey State Police detective. "They had this Doberman there to frighten the kittens. It was sick. The cats were even playing on the furniture."
From there, the Persian cat gave up Felix in exchange for a plea-deal. The online sting was set up, and the animated star took the bait. Several computers and disks were seized from his Hollywood Hills home.
"The perception is that just alley cats are into this sort of thing," said Farmer. "Mr. Dominici's arrest proves this is a sickness without prejudice."
"Felix denies these ridiculous allegations, and believes he's the victim of an overzealous investigation in search of a big name," said his agent. "Further, we believe that asking if a kitten has been de-clawed hardly represents lewd behavior. We will fight this to the end."
Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!