| |
Ultrasound Technician Goes Mad After Seeing "Unspeakable Beauty" of Jolie-Pitt Fetus
An ultrasound technician traveling in Africa with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie went stark raving mad after being the first to see the in-utero image of the baby.
According to those present, the technician burst from the ultrasound lab, screaming, "SWEET JESUS IT'S UNSPEAKABLY BEAUTIFUL!" before putting her eyes out with a pair of scissors, tearing off her clothes, and running from the hospital.
"We had concerns this might happen," said Pitt-Jolie spokesman Dave Arnold. "Never before in the history of humankind has such genetic firepower been mixed. This child will clearly redefine how we see beauty. We're virtually certain that the eye color will be a new hue on the spectrum, a color that humans have never seen. It will change the rainbow."
Pitt and Jolie were so unnerved by the incident that they immediately bought the entire country of Namibia and re-named it "Wind."
Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!
|
|
