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Local Man Disturbed by Lesbian Neighbors
Oct 5 2003 by Allen Voivod
Moe Ferreira's complaint didn't sound unusual at first. "I'm sick of lookin' out my window and seein' my neighbors walkin' around buck naked in their house. It just ain't right."
He denies that it has anything to do with his neighbors' sexual preferences. "They can munch up all the carpet they want to, long as they do it in the dark like every other decent human being."
Local police tried to mediate the situation. "I just went over and talked to them. They both answered the door, and sure enough, they were both naked," police captain Steven Davis said. "I told them it was their right to do whatever they wanted in their own home, but they could show some consideration and wear a little clothing. Even something flimsy, or see-through. That would work just as well for me."
To date the neighbors have not complied with the police request, and Ferreira troubles have continued to mount.
"I was talking on the phone to my friend Shawn Mulligan the other day, ventin' a bit of my frustration, and he offered to come over and sit a spell with me. But when he got here, he barely listened to me. He just stood at that window, watching them, and then he excused himself to the bathroom. He didn't come out for about five minutes. He said it was because his wife Judy had made her special spicy burritos for dinner the night before, but I wasn't buyin' it."
Ferreira is now suing Mulligan and five other former friends in Small Claims Court to recoup $1,483.39 for repairs to Ferreira's septic system. None of the defendants would comment for DeadBrain.
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