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| You just spat on: Home > Global News | September 8th |
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 New al-Jazeera TV Show Premieres -- "Bush Unplugged" Sep 12 2003 by Jim Bauman “It’s an outrage!” said White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, referring to the new al-Jazeera TV show “Bush Unplugged.” The show stars the new kid’s action figure G.I. George, which resembles President Bush in Army fatigues. “The doll says unspeakable things that our flesh and blood President would never ever say,” McClellan said. In the first show of the season, G.I. George stood before a mini-mockup of the lectern used by Bush in the White House press room and began a rambling speech: “Why did America invade Iraq? Well, I’ll tell ya. My administration needed a distraction from the ditch-dwellin’ domestic economy. And hey, no one threatens my Poppa and gets away with it, hear? I know everyone says it was about oil. Yeah, that’s true, but it was also about palaces! Have you seen what our fightin’ men and women have uncovered there? Those are beautiful buildings that should be shared with the world and not be hoarded by one man. Now here’s the plan. Halliburton and Bechtel will own and take charge of them. The palaces will be converted into huge shopping malls so that the Iraqis citizens can move from 16th century street vending to 21st century marketing and free enterprise. Isn’t that democratic?!” Al-Jazeera’s programming director, Mr. Fantazzi, said response throughout the Arab world (and by American Democrats who’ve viewed video files on the show’s website) has been tremendous. “I can’t take credit for this,” Fantazzi said. “It was the brainchild of our newly hired writer and director, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the former Iraqi Minister of Information. He brings a brisk and quirky comic wit to the show. We’re lucky we could snatch him up before those American tanks that he said would never roll into Baghdad rolled into Baghdad.” “We have sent formal protests to the president of the al-Jazeera network,” McClellan said. “And, I want you to know that we’ve heard from a reliable source that Mr. al-Sahaf places the doll in a creepy, unlit basement at night. All night. No President should be treated that way. Not even the likeness of one!” Related Articles Secret Service Employs Sex Doll to Train for Presidential Choking Event Sep 5 2003 U.S. Seeks Coalition, U.N. Aid in Deficit Crunch Aug 31 2003 Power Outage Traced to Amish "Evangelistic Crusade" 19 Aug 2003 Colin Powell: "I'm a Warmongering SOB" Aug 4 2003
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