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| You are puzzled to find: Home > Global News | February 10th |
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 David Blaine Video Feed Roots Out Iraqi Guerrillas Oct 14 2003 by Jim Bauman Eyewitnesses didn’t know what to expect in Baghdad’s central square. The Real America Display Company, a subsidiary of Halliburton Corporation, had been working for two weeks erecting “something” under a black tarp four stories up. Finally, the moment had arrived. After speeches and band music, the tarp was dropped. And there it was, a Jumbotron! But, the second surprise was the image on the screen. Live video of David Blaine, the magician, in a plastic cube! The crowd gasped. Some in the crowd grew surly and began swearing in Arabic and English. Suddenly, ACK-ACK-ACK...the sound of automatic weapons fire...bullets ricocheted off the screen. American soldiers tussled with civilians holding the rifles just fired and led them away. “Yes! This new reconstructive effort in Iraq has been successful in rooting out violent elements in the society here,” said Paul Bremer, Presidential Envoy to Iraq. “The military has arrested anyone who fires at the bullet-proof giant screen. Attacks on Coalition forces are way down since its unveiling.” At his unkempt and dusty university office, Dr. Kukla von Kukla, noted sociologist said, “There’s something about David Blaine in a plastic cage which evokes unbridled hostility or intense boredom leading to narcolepsy. There seems to be no middle ground. You remember what happened at Blaine’s Tower Bridge location? Some people threw eggs, bananas, Victory fries, and golf balls at him. Others slumped into a fetal position holding their clothing like a baby blanket and snored away.” Media magnate Rupert Murdoch has bought the rights to the Blaine video feed. With it, he’ll create a cable show, The Sleep Channel. “Until today, the only natural sleep remedies for insomniacs were to read a book about double-ledger accounting or about a day in the life of an actuary. Now, we’ve found the cure!” said Murdoch. Even Mayor Bloomberg of New York City sees merit in the Blaine social phenomenon. “The Sleep Channel will be broadcast in Times Square. With this new technology, we hope to nab violence-prone individuals on the Square before they commit a murder or rape,” said the Mayor. Related Articles Bush Suspects Leaking Leaker May Not Be Found Oct 12 2003 Former Lutheran Chinese Islamic Army Chaplain Arrested 25 Sep 2003 Hurricane Isabel Aftermath: Bush Blames al-Qaeda Sep 24 2003 Spam is Winning the War on Terrorism Sep 20 2003 Anonymous "Dick" Leaks New Draft of Bush's “Road Map to Peace” Sep 18 2003 New al-Jazeera TV Show Premieres -- "Bush Unplugged" Sep 12 2003
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