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Star Wars Reference Ruins Date
Feb 14 2004 by Elliott McMillan
"I can't believe it," muttered local sales rep Aaron McCallister. "I had a date with Alison, the hot chick from Accounting. I totally blew it," he continued, his head on the table.
According to McCallister, the date was going fine until the name of their company's comptroller came up. "When she mentioned Mike Thorn, I said, 'He's just like Admiral Ozzel.' She didn't know who Admiral Ozzel is, so I told her."
That might not have been so bad, but McCallister went a bit too far. Sources say that McCallister spent the next five minutes recounting the Hoth battle from The Empire Strikes Back, including the fact that Admiral Ozzel came out of hyperspace too soon, thus allowing Rebel Alliance forces to prepare for a surface attack.
"I had no idea what he was talking about", said Alison Litton. "I mean, I saw Star Wars before, but I don't remember all the minute details. Then he mentioned some General Veers, and how he blew up a power station...by that time I was checking out the guy at the other table," she said, a wry smile creeping across her face.
Sources revealed that by the end of the Star Wars reference, Litton had a far off, glassy-eyed look. "I had to ask twice if she wanted more bread," said their waiter that evening, Chuck Brubaker. "Whatever that guy said really turned her off. Too bad...she's really hot."
"I knew then and there it was over," said McCallister. He added, "I always do something like this," putting his head back on the table, muttering, "Always" over and over.
This isn't the first time a Star Wars reference has ruined McCallister's amorous intentions. In May of last year, the dork compared a short person to Wicket, and said on another date that he was as hungry as the Sarlaac.
Litton is not too upset, however. "I met a really cute guy that night. He plays bass in a band. We're going out Saturday," she said, smiling.
"Aww, jeez," said McCallister, near tears.
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