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Drunken, Despondent Mickey Mouse Arrested for Attacking Kermit, Miss Piggy
Feb 28 2004 by NM Puff
A heavily intoxicated and disheveled Mickey Mouse was booked in West Hollywood last evening for assault, public inebration and destruction of property. The arrest took place at Morton's on Melrose, an A-list hang out for Hollywood elites.
The arrest report indicated that, in a drunken rage, Mickey had violently attacked Kermit and Miss Piggy while hurling epithets at them and the Walt Disney Company. Kermit and Miss Piggy had gone to Morton's to celebrate their purchase by Disney.
The reason behind the rampage is not clear, though it had been widely known that the purchase of Jim Henson's company by Disney had infuriated Mickey. Mickey had also been despondent over the firing of 200 cartoonists in Orlando, Florida, along with the general rise of other cartoon-type characters, specifically those in digital format. It was rumored, for example, that Mickey recently threw a box of popcorn at Nemo during an afternoon screening and had to be escorted from the theater. At the time Mickey was heard to say, "I'd like to barbecue the litttle sh**."
Michael Eisner, Disney's CEO, has tried to see Mickey but the mouse has refused. Mickey did not accept Eisner after the death of his beloved Walt [Disney].
"We hate to see this happen to such an important member of the Disney family," said Eisner. "We will do everything in our power to rehabilitate Mickey."
Oprah has pitched Mickey to be on her afternoon show, but Mickey is reportedly leaning toward Larry King.
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