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Fellow Televangelists Suspicious: Pat Robertson a Little Too Anti-Gay
Mar 15 2004 by Phinneas Zoquo
Since the flames of controversy regarding gay marriages were ignited after the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling, there has been no more vocal an outcry than that from the Reverend Pat Robertson. And that has some of his colleagues raising their eyebrows.
"Well, I don't want to jump to any conclusions about a man I've respected for many years, but I must say Pat's been a bit too incensed about the whole gay marriage issue," commented fellow Reverend Jerry Falwell. "It's as though the matter hits a bit too close to home, if you follow me. Preaching that homosexuality is a sin is one thing, but I think my good friend's hatred must be due to something he despises inside of himself…like his own propensity toward biting pillows."
Others have noticed similar overly-passionate behavior in Rev. Robertson, one of America's most notable Christian conservatives. Another prominent television evangelist with big hair, asking not to be identified, offered this to DeadBrain: "I first had my suspicions when Pat came into my office crying hysterically after last Sunday's sermon, during which the subject was broached. When I asked him why he was beet red and hyper-ventilating, he wailed, 'I just can't stand those God damned faggots! Why has God cursed us with them? It's not like they were able to breed until in vitro fertilization came along - shouldn't they have died out before then?'
"At first, I didn't think much of it," our anonymous Reverend continued, "but then I recalled the closeted father from American Beauty becoming similarly volatile at the mere mention of gays, and that's when it hit me. This fruitcake's a classic case of 'He who denies it, supplies it.' I guess that explains why I found an Enrique Iglesias CD in his VW Beetle last week, too."
When contacted about these allegations, Robertson was unavailable for comment, as he was in Westchester, NY, serving as a judge in the annual dog show's poodle division.
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