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| You have been flattened by: Home > News | November 20th |
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 Secret US Court Lifts Gag Order on DeadBrain, Saddam's DiariesApr 20 2004 by Allen Voivod
DeadBrain was released yesterday from a gag order filed by the Justice Department under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA), allowing the website to resume the publication of Saddam Hussein's diaries.The International Satirists Guild would have hailed the decision, except for the fact that the cease and desist order was filed with the ultra-secretive Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, and so no one outside of a localized trans-spatial bubble knew of the incident. Reached via telephone at the Guild's Oslo, Norway headquarters, President Douglass Ramssmullett spit out his coffee and said, "What?! Whose idea was this?! And why wasn't the trans-spatial bubble registered with the National Institute of Standards and Technology? By the leather thong on Thor's hammer, I smell a vile weasel in the midst of all this!" That would be John Ashcroft, who stopped thinking about naked breasts on statues and hospital sponge baths from live male nurses long enough to remember that DeadBrain was born in the United Kingdom, a foreign country, and subject to FISA. After a disastrous lapse in bile-spewing that led to acute gallstone pancreatitis, Ashcroft vowed never again to allow that fluid to crystallize in his body. Ashcroft has been upset with DeadBrain ever since we broke the news that he wears nylons. Thigh highs, in fact. Thus, the FISA filing, which resulted in the shutdown of our serialization of Saddam's diaries after two installments, despite the fact that we said nothing at all about what Ashcroft does with the strange-smelling waxed fruit he keeps in a bowl on his desk. The filing also initiated a three-month standoff between a joint DHS/FBI task force and the Idaho militiamen protecting DeadBrain web servers. Thankfully, neither side blinked in the Idaho panhandle, or President Bush would be calling Ireland for a potato shipment, pronto-like. Now that the gag order has been lifted, and the Court has determined that Ashcroft once again abused his powers under the Patriot Act, which is kind of ironic if you think about it, DeadBrain is now free to continue the saga of Saddam's Diaries...which we will do next week! Related Articles Secret US Court Lifts Gag Order on DeadBrain, Saddam's Diaries Apr 20 2004
Bush Finally Flips, Satirizes Self on National TV
Apr 1 2004
Paul Newman Elected to Satirists Guild for Fox News MockeryAug 21 2003 Satirists Guild Calls for Attacks on Democrats, Political Commentators Aug 17 2003
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