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| You are passing rapidly through: Home > News | September 7th |
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 Lynndie England Stands Up For Male EnhancementMay 30 2004 by John Hetherington
Lynndie England, the 24 year old Army Reservist at the center of the Abu Ghraib prison scandal, has been named the new spokesmodel for Enzyte and will star in a commercial for the natural male enhancement pill. The move is part of a major advertising blitz designed to bring erectile dysfunction down market.In the spot, England pays homage to her famous Abu Ghraib photo, pointing at and mocking a group of male suitors who are clearly humiliated by their inability to meet her standards. This time, however, the men are Americans imprisoned by their own sexual dysfunction. Only after taking Enzyte are the men able to rise to the occasion and win the "Lynndie England Seal of Approval." A representative of Enzyte explained, "Clearly Pfc. England is an aficionado of male genitalia. She demonstrated this throughout her service in Iraq in both still photos and videos. Lynndie England knows when a man is worthy of scorn and mockery and when he deserves a thumbs up." The spokesman said England "represents George Bush's America - in which the flaccid are mercilessly mocked for weakness and where the common man gets a good, firm erection and use it anyway he pleases – thanks to Enzyte natural male enhancement." Through her management England said, "I'm so glad to have the opportunity to put my skills to good use. I think this proves that humiliation can have good results - whether the media believes it or not." According to Enzyte manufacturer Lifekey Healthcare, the product promises to improve male libido regardless of the situation or perspective partner. Enzyte is available without a prescription because "American men don't need permission to have erections." England's deal comes hot on the heels of news that many of her partners in torture and sexual deviation are on their way to satisfying post-Abu Ghraib careers, including Charles Graner, who is currently being courted by more than one producer of snuff films. Still other England partners are quietly being considered for high ranking positions within with Attorney General John Ashcroft's "special" forces. Related Articles Terminator IV: SkyNet Targets Wedding Parties May 24 2004
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