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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Donald Rumsfeld |
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| You are disappointed to see: Home > News | February 9th |
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 New Iraqi Prime Minister Says to Bush: "Disarm or We'll Disarm You"Jun 2 2004 by John Hetherington
Vowing to defend his country against "all enemies and threats, real or perceived," Iraq’s incoming Prime Minister Ayad Alawi has issued a stern warning to American President George W. Bush: "Disarm or Iraq and a coalition of the occupied and oppressed will disarm you."Alawi’s remarks came during a speech at the Baghdad Conventions and Visitor’s Center, where he addressed members of the media and the approximately twelve Iraqis whom it is believed do not fully oppose the new interim government. "Iraq and the world changed after March 19, 2003," Alawi said, referring to the US invasion of Iraq. "We can longer afford to sit and wait to be attacked, but must confront our enemies for the sake of democracy and freedom, here and abroad." Alawi noted that Iraqi intelligence indicated that the United States was in possession of weapons of mass destruction and prepared to use them in order to "inflict the fundamentalist ideologies of the Bush Administration and Halliburton." The Iraqi ultimatum was met with overwhelmingly favorable reactions from members of the United Nations Security Council. "Bush is a gathering storm," noted German Ambassador Dr. Gunter Pleuger, who added "I also fear he may be a little barbaric." Such sentiments were echoed by representatives of Romania, the Russian Federation, China, and France. The French Ambassador was reluctant to support Iraq's efforts to disarm Bush because "everyone will expect us to, and we hate being predictable." Not surprisingly, the US has been less enthusiastic. According to Secretary of State Colin Powell, there is "no actionable intelligence" that supports the need for disarming the Bush Administration. National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice added that the criticisms being lobbed at President Bush were "hardly fitting or appropriate for a democratically elected leader." In spite of the current conflict, Alawi claims that he has learned about leadership from the American President. "President Bush has taught me that I do not need the support of my people to carry out my wishes." Offering reporters a smirk that was clearly inspired by the US President he added, "Now it's off to some fund raisers!" Related Articles New Iraqi Prime Minister Says to Bush: "Disarm or We'll Disarm You" Jun 2 2004
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