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| You are slobbering over: Home > News | July 5th |
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 Reagan's Death Timed to Draw Attention from Bush's Disastrous D-Day SpeechJun 6 2004 by Allen Voivod
Message boards off the beaten Internet path are aflame with the news - charges ranging from euthanasia to murder could soon be added to the list of crimes attributed to the Bush Administration by left-wing and conspiracy-minded organizations.The trouble began when President Bush attempted to emulate Ronald "The Great Communicator" Reagan's famous "Pointe du Hoc" speech, delivered on the 40th anniversary of D-Day. White House server logs released to Fox News indicated that Bush had tried to find transcripts of Reagan speeches and interviews online earlier this week. Instead, Bush found sites that compile famous Reagan vocal gaffes, featured in such books as Reagan's Reign of Error and The Clothes Have No Emperor. Stringing together some of these, and substituting as necessary to remain topical, Bush stood at Omaha Beach on this, the 60th anniversary of D-Day, and offered these observations: "It's silly talking about how long we stay in the Iraqi desert when we could pave the whole country and put parking stripes on it and still be home by Christmas." And: "My fellow Ameri-uh, peoples. I'm pleased to legis-uh, outlaw Iran, Syria, North Korea, Spain, maybe Australia, and the island nation of Palau. We bomb in five minutes." And: "Gerald Ford was a Communist." After the assembled press corps was bundled into a CIA jet bound for Uzbekistan, Karl Rove made a cell phone call to Nancy Reagan, which was picked up on a baby monitor at a Normandy farmhouse. The farmer's wife claims she heard Rove tell Nancy, "Pull the plug, bludgeon him with a Ouija board, I don't care what you have to do!" The overwhelming newsworthiness of Reagan's demise relegated all but the most trite of Bush's D-Day comments, such as "I know all the bad things that happened in that war. I was in uniform four years myself," to the back-burners of "hate sites," as left-leaning websites are referred to by the Bush Administration. While Bush spoke, French President Jacques Chirac was caught attempting to make an off-microphone comment. He asked Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin, "What planet is [Bush] living on?" Related Articles Oil Prices to Drop After Khobar Attack June 3 2004
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