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North Korea, Other Countries Try to Crash the G-8 Summit
North Korea is trying to crash the G-8 Summit. The Southeast Asian nation has been standing in line outside the Sea Island, Georgia meeting hall, hoping to get in. "It's really pathetic," said the doorman, who only gave the name Didier. "Every time the US walks by, with England on its arm, all flashy, North Korea tries to get their attention."
Every year, small nations flock to the G-8, hoping to get a chance to spend some time with one of the eight major nations. Many nations, upon seeing that they have no chance of getting in, leave after a day. Not so for North Korea.
"I can't believe they're still here", said Didier. "This is a hearty group." North Korea has been joined by the Central African Republic, Mauritania, and Uruguay behind the velvet rope. Their tactics are wearing thin with Didier.
"The other day, Mauritania shakes my hand, and tries to stick all this Mauritanian money in it. What am I going to do with Mauritanian money?" asked Didier. "Central Africa tried to give me a sob story about how AIDS has decimated its population. It's kinda hard, but I had to tell them to get back in line. Besides, I heard a lot of sob stories from Yugoslavia back in the day."
Didier paused, then added, "At one point, North Korea offered me some uranium. They said something about nuclear brinksmanship, and bargaining chips. I just turned them down, like I always do." Just then, Japan walked by, causing a chorus of shouts from the waiting countries.
"Russia's pretty cool. We used to be friends once, but there were problems. We still talk occasionally," said North Korea. "The US is a big jerk. They won't even give us a look when they walk by." The rest of the gathered nations agreed with that sentiment.
Sources close to the waiting nations say that North Korea has come up with a plan to get in. It apparently involves a stolen waiter's uniform and a service entrance.
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