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Intelligence Failures Mar Bush's Eulogy at Reagan Funeral
The national funeral service for former President Ronald W. Reagan was disrupted when President George W. Bush instead eulogized former President Herbert Hoover, a gaffe that he has since blamed on an "intelligence failure."
Speaking before a congregation that included Reagan's widow and an array of foreign dignitaries, Bush extolled the virtues of the thirty-first president. "Herbert Hoover demonstrated to the world that the American government is not responsible for anything and we will be forever grateful," he said.
Though stunned, the audience listened as the President continued, explaining the inspirational role Hoover had played in his own presidency. "In times of trouble I like to ask myself what President Hoover would do. When the poor and wretched built tent cities in our city, he had them torn down so that no decent American would be subjected to such a sight." Wiping a tear from his eye, Bush concluded, "That is my America. That is our America."
Although mourners were clearly shocked, no one bothered to correct the President. As Rick Santorum (R-PA) explained, "Great leaders are always under fire from their critics. There is always going to be someone accusing a great leader of delivering the wrong eulogy or invading the wrong country."
Still other Bush supporters called into question whether Ronald Reagan had in fact died. Rush Limbaugh, the popular radio host who first rose to fame for his depiction of Jabba the Hutt in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, pointed out that no one had actually seen the body. "All I'm saying is at times like these we need to trust our President instead of asking questions that do nothing but put our troops in harm's way."
Afterwards CIA spokesman Bill Harlow defended the intelligence failure. "This has taken us entirely by surprise. No one in the CIA, and I dare say anywhere, could have expected Ronald Reagan's death."
In a statement, the White House pointed out that President Bush's eulogy was "technically correct," adding that there can be no question that Herbert Hoover is dead.
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