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| You are misplaced along with: Home > News | November 20th |
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 DeadBrain Time Machine: Ex-CIA Director George Tenet in New Business Venture with Ahmed ChalabiJun 20 2004 by Jim Bauman
A DeadBrain field reporter spent one excruciating day with former CIA Director George Tenet and discredited Iraqi fortune hunter Ahmed Chalabi. Here's what we learned...Tenet and Chalabi recently founded a detective agency. Ninety percent of their cases involve marital infidelity. We sat in while they talked about their work. "Honestly, I thought I'd be sittin' on multiple security company corporate boards, but I was blackballed. I've got a son headed to college in a year. That's obscenely expensive! So, I started this business. I felt sorry for Chalabi, and hired him as a partner," said Tenet. "Partner, bah! He treats me like an Abu Ghraib prisoner! I could've been an important person in the new Iraqi government, I'll have you know," said Chalabi. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you were a double agent who wanted to be the Shah of Iraq. Hey, listen, I'd treat you better if you didn't screw up so often. Just two weeks ago, we were staking out a CEO's wife who was suspected of cheating on her hubby, and Chal takes long-range photos of the woman near the window kneeling in front of a pair of pants. "Chal runs back to the car, and yells to me that he's got proof, definite proof, that she's cheatin'. Well, we develop the pictures, and yeah, the woman was kneeling in front of a pair of pants, but they were hanging from a mannequin. Her hobby was sewing men's clothes!" "Leave me alone, you incompetent Spy Meister - Ex-Director of Faulty Intelligence!" said Chalabi. "Hey, Chal, should I tell them about the time you fell into a client's swimming pool? You were screamin' your head off, 'I can't swim! Save me, oh great Saddam!' After I rescued you, you told me your cousin, Saddam, saved your life once. Only problem is…you don't have a cousin named Saddam," said Tenet. "Shut up! You purveyor of stinking lies and bureaucratic bungling!" said Chalabi. And so it went. In summing up, we're not experts on private eyes, but Tenet and Chalabi sure acted like two dicks. Related Articles DeadBrain Time Machine Reveals Blame Placement in 9/11 Commission Report Jun 14 2004
DeadBrain Time Machine Reveals Surprise Winner of Democratic Nomination
May 31 2004
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