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| You are humming to the tune of: Home > News | November 20th |
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 Iraqi Power Eventually Transferred to Indiana Dairy FarmerJun 30 2004 by Jim Bauman
After waving goodbye with one hand to Paul Bremer's plane while furtively giving him the finger with the other, Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi briefly paused to enjoy the newfound feeling of self-governance. As Bremer's plane zigzagged across the dusty, hot sky to avoid an insurgent ground-to-air missile, Allawi frantically motioned for an aide to bring him a sheaf of papers. For a few seconds, he scribbled on the papers, and handed them to a courier. Later, DeadBrain discovered that that was the exact moment when Allawi transferred Iraqi sovereignty to Prime Minister Shavkat Mirziyayev of the Republic of Uzbekistan. Upon opening the paper package from Allawi, Mirziyayev screamed and fainted. When he'd heard what had happened, Uzbekistani President Islom Karimov promptly transferred Iraqi sovereignty to Josefina Bilbao Mendoza, the Chilean Regional Intendant in charge of Easter Island. Ms. Mendoza's reaction was one of panic. She ran pell-mell around the island, finally colliding headfirst with one of the giant stone monoliths, known as Moai. Finding Mendoza unconscious, her deputy immediately transferred power to "gone seriously mental" Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe. President Mugabe opened the Iraqi papers, read them, calmly drew a revolver from his holster, and shot the FedEx courier. "We have enough violence in this country. We don't need anymore," whispered Mugabe. And, so it went, as power was transferred more times than all the lateral passes by the Marx Brothers during the college football game in the movie Horse Feathers. It went around the world several times, until Ned Blevins, a dairy farmer outside of Goshen, Indiana, received the paperwork. Ned took it in stride and said, "I know a lot of important people have turned the job down, but if I don't do it, maybe no one would." His plans for Iraq are calcium-fortified. "It could be the biggest dairy nation in the world with the right management," said Ned. Riding into Baghdad on an armored Guernsey, Ned assured the locals that he wouldn't milk the crisis. Related Articles Iraqi Power Eventually Transferred to Indiana Dairy Farmer Jun 30 2004
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